I wrote this last night from a place of vulnerability and honesty. If your business, your work, or even your identity is shifting… this one’s for you too. I know it’s not polished, but it’s from my heart, and it might help you find words for something you’re moving through as well.

I didn’t want to fix it. I wanted to watch it burn.

Earlier this year, I sat in the understanding that I wanted to walk away from everything I’d built in my business — the offers, the structure, even the brand — because it all felt too tight, too wrong, too “not-me-anymore.” It had begun around this time last year, a Samhain spiral that put me on a path I'd been resisting for some time. So that by early 2025, I wanted to light a match and walk away Tommy-Shelby-style to a roaring soundtrack with the flames behind me (preferably wearing a really good swinging coat).

But… I also had no clue what to do after that. Sadly, there was no immediate cut-scene to “after.” There was just me, standing in the dream business I’d built so carefully, with so much love and dedication — and feeling flat and uninspired.

I began to wonder if maybe this was it. Maybe I’d done the service work that was mine to do. Maybe that was complete, and now it was time to do something else.

There’s a special kind of fatigue that comes from holding it all together for too long.

But beneath the surface was an exhaustion that made “something else” feel just as out of reach. The impulse to burn it all down and to walk away came more from a place of deep, bone-weary tiredness than the inspired impulse of Dragon flames.

That flatness wasn’t just the tiredness of a menopausal woman (though that played its part); it was a signal that something profoundly different was at play. To channel my creativity elsewhere, I needed to get more honest with myself than I ever had before.

Reinvention has been my inspiration and my disguise.

I love to flow with change. I love a challenge. I love to create on the go. Any of you who’ve flown this path with me for some time know that I haven’t had master plans stretching years ahead — I’m more of a “hey, let’s do this now” kind of being.

I can hold a shapeshifting energy and bring that depth of transformation into any space. Whether I’m mentoring, launching, writing, or simply speaking with someone, I can bring in deep but necessary discomfort and radiant potential all at once. It’s what makes me, for most people, either a “yes-I-love-to-work-with-her” or a “nope-running-a-mile-in-the-opposite-direction.”

But for too long, the shapeshifting responded to others’ needs, not my own essence. I presented the Dragons front-and-centre because it was easier to explain them than to hold and own the full breadth of my own power. 

This time, I didn’t shapeshift. I just stopped.

I stopped pushing. I stopped creating. I stopped knowing what was next. I was ready to be different, but I needed to reflect on whether 2025 would be the last year of Dances With Dragons. Whether the time had come for a new adventure, whether my sacred service was complete and it was time to explore what was next.

But when I stopped, a deeper truth had room to appear. I’d been so busy being busy that I hadn’t given myself the space I needed to see. A part of me was afraid to stop, afraid of what that would mean for my life, for my identity, for my being. A pause was necessary. And in that pause, everything was interrupted. Everything got quiet. And a whole new set of pieces began to fall into place. 

The service wasn’t over. The way I’d been doing it was.

I realised I could end the cycle without ending the work. My sacred service continues, but in a different form — one I’ve been growing into all this time without fully acknowledging and owning.

It’s dropped in, deeply, fiercely, over the past twelve months. It holds a space for all of me. It holds my sacred service as part of my being, but not the whole of it. It holds the shapeshifting aspects that no longer constrict but instead reveal the essence needed in each moment.

It partners with the Dragons and the Divine Feminine in ways that couldn’t have been envisioned, let alone embodied, in the old framework.

I started moving more slowly, listening more carefully.

This work, this service, now flows from a core of peace and stillness. It expands from alignment, not doing. I’d heard this so many times in this lifetime — now I’m finally embodying it.

And it has been hard.

There have been so many moments when I wanted to slide back into the old ways (and sometimes I did). But at each point, there was the pause. The breath. It was insisted on. It was required. And every time, it gave me space to choose differently.

This sacred process asked me to go deeply within: to shed old layers and to unravel identities I didn’t know I was still holding. It asked me to work with my body, my health, my flow into menopause, my nervous system.

All of it was messy. All of it was sacred. It held deep grief and profound joy. 

It asked me to let go, over and over and over again.

That has been the cycle of this transformation. It has been messy, it has been hard, it has asked me to be radically honest with myself. And it has also been joyful, rewarding, expansive, and peaceful. All of these in flow and balance — a weaving of fire and light.

I didn’t rise from these flames. I sat in them until they became a part of me.

This has not been a comfortable twelve months for my human self — and yet, with each step taken, there has been the knowing that something is truly completing, and the new is opening up in ways that were unimaginable before.

Human life is messy. It’s never perfect. It’s an ongoing process. No one out there is living a perfectly balanced life. But we can embrace the flames and let them forge us, let ourselves absorb them, and come out the other side in new and powerful ways.

For me, it was my work that led me into them. I’ve watched and supported friends and clients this year walk into their fire through their relationships, through their past, through their finances. Each flame is unique, and yet part of a powerful whole. This year has brought the gift of sovereignty to so many of the amazing women I am blessed to know and to work with.

So in the end, I didn’t walk away dramatically in slow motion with the flames behind me.

I stayed. Instead, I let them burn through the stories, the patterns, the disguises.

And what remained was clarity. A truer me. A stronger, steadier fire. 

The kind that doesn’t need to be lit anymore, because I am the flame.  

This year of burning and rebuilding has also reshaped how I hold my work.

From here, you’ll hear me speak more about collaborating with the Dragons and the Divine Feminine, not placing them so front and centre, and not hiding behind them either.

Now it’s a partnership of magic, light, and power with them as co-creators — a living weaving of magic through everything I create, guide, and serve.

It’s actually not a new path, but the deeper truth of what’s always been moving through my work and service. And now there’s room for all of it.

P.S. If you’re still somewhere in the burning or in the pause, I can walk with you while you find your way through.